Once I was Mommy now Mom

I watched you come into this world; with all the help I could give. You instantly stole my heart for eternity. I washed you, fed you from my body. I became more dependent on you it seemed, than you on me. We played and Coo'd, until your words, one. two, three, four-word sentences. Each day you were more of the Miracal I'd looked for and then you became more. Crawling, walking into running with energy I could only remember. Hugs and kisses were rewards you gave me and allowed me to give to you. My hand looking for you to grab a finger, for love, for security, just to be there. A hand that tugged on my fingers heart. I watched you sleep and hope for you dreams to be sweet and kind. I sleep dream of you, and it would sweeten my sleep. I would wake with you first on my hearts mind. Years on end, washed away time, you grew and now you're so independent. You're like a little adult, with ideas, and want of you own, just for you. I miss you needing me. I must learn and unlearn, you advanced into areas I did think would come for years. Now you stand so grown, so must much more than I could see you being, but always unknowingly hoped for. Now I'm selfish, with small outbursts of emotions. I miss you needing me in the old ways, I must let go to hold onto the new you. I feel myself looking at you farther and farther away. I see you close but I feel the of space a time growing us together but apart. The universe of your life is expanding before my eyes. Love for is still so strong, but I find it hard to express with you desired approval. I work hard to hold you in my heart, even though my empty arms reach for you. I love you for the adult you have become, my love prays, and plans for the betterment of what you'd hope for. My life experiences seem waste, as I offer love, that now you tell me has to show differently. My heart is in denial, my mind tells me, reminds me this is what my mother must had felt when this day came and went. My heart reaches out but can't connect, love is not in the same definition, I used to see so clearly. I must learn to keep hand off, where hands used to be hand on in LOVE. I'm Mom, with the heart of a Mother. Love Eternally Mom.