Fault

Fault
It’s not your fault, that I was too young when we hooked up.
It’s not your fault, that I wasn’t ready for what came next.
It’s not your fault.

I was 21 with an 8 year gap, it’s not your fault.
You were 29 with a place for that.
The very first time we made a baby like that, it’s not your fault.

We got married and moved in and everything happened so fast.
It’s not your fault.
We had a baby boy that was our whole world and we tried to make it work, it’s not your fault.

We bought a house, we had a chance and we lost it.
It’s all your fault.
I grew up and became a mother with a job and school but it was a bother.
You stayed in your 20’s from the inside out, stopped pushing for the love and becoming a real father.
You go out all the time, drink too much and wine wine wine.
It’s all your fault.
I grew up and you grew younger, now the roles are reversed and I can feel the anger.
Your temper got the best of me, made feel incomplete.
It’s all your fault.

I stayed for the kids, I stayed for them. I stopped loving you and pretend pretend pretend.

Everyone saw it but me, everyone told me leave. It’s all your fault.
I lost who I was, I lost all my friends.
My mom was upset because she saw the pain behind the smiles.
I stayed for the kids and I just pretend pretend pretend.
It’s all your fault.

I’m leaving you now, my eyes are opened now.
The kids are better off now, without you around.
It’s all my fault.
I’m happy now, the kids are thriving now.
I feel like a person again, the kids aren’t scared now.
It’s all my fault.
I’m building my friendships back, taking my life back. Sleeping alone, I like that.
It’s all my fault.

There are days where I still feel small, then remember that its you who wouldn’t let me stand tall.
It’s all your fault.
I look in the mirror and see the new me, but cry at all the time I wasted on what you made me be.
It’s all your fault.
I’m successful now, I’m doing it without you now.
I love me now and I shine brightly now.
It’s all my fault.

You act like a good dad when you see them now, but they remember how it use to be don’t be stupid now.
They see me happy now, and smile more now.
The laugh at homework time and are reading books now.
It’s all my fault.
They’re getting A’s now, sleeping safe and sound now.
It’s all my fault.
They have freedom now, from the anger they took when you were around.
It’s all my fault.

I’m stronger than ever now, don’t f*ck with me now.
Your lies and words don’t affect me now.
I’m smarter than I’ve ever been. More guarded than a fortress.
Nobody can knock me down, it’s all your fault.

I’m making 6 figures now, you’re living with your friend now.
It’s all your fault.
You gamble away your money now, hire escorts to please you now.
It’s all your fault.
This is what you do without me around, to help you now.
It’s all your fault.