Down in the depths

The word defeated doesn't even come close.
I went from feeling on top.
To losing what I love most.
I was riding that high.
But I was humble.
I never boast.
I felt a certain pride emanating from my friends and folks.
The anticipation it pokes.
It cuts deep like a knife.
I been working so hard to make a change in my life.
Renewing my recovery and trying to do what's right.
I swear I'm a changed man.
I swear that I've seen the light.
But to be honest what is the point.
I'm just busting my ass for nothing.
The courts rather see me in the joint.
Like all I'm doing is fronting.
When in trying to make up for something.
But the judge could really care less.
The prosecutions obsessed.
And my lawyer has no defense.
I'm over stressed and super tired.
I'm doing my fucking best.
I'm so sick of being in the dark.
And drowning up in the cess.
Never the LEss.
The chips are all stacked against me.
All the communication delegated by these people affects me
So empty.
Is the way that I'm always use to feeling.
How am I suppose to do good things when I'm seen as a super villain.
Ain't no healing.
On down this road.
I feel like I'm fighting stone.
All the blood and broken bones.
Couldn't match the pain in song.
I feel all alone no home.
I thought I was doing right.
But the way I'm going seems like.
There is no light in sight.
I'm stuck in darkness...