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Cultured Fog

Ludy Bührs

Dizain
Do we humans really want each other,
really seek a bond that will never break?
We're losing it, each single word may bother,
grief oppresses, the pain of distance aches,
with questions thick fogs we cultivate.
Each on our own, we inhabit a niche
with no allure or warmth  that might enrich.
There we all hide, each behind our own shields
in loneliness, suffer because we miss.
Are we all blind? Are these the wanted yields?
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Submitted by ludy_b on October 14, 2022

Modified on March 23, 2023

25 sec read
8

Quick analysis:

Scheme ABACDEEFGF
Closest metre Iambic pentameter
Characters 423
Words 83
Stanzas 1
Stanza Lengths 10
Full analysis for Cultured Fog »

Ludy Bührs

The topics she writes about are very diverse, so are the poetry styles she applies. As a Dutch translator and poet, having lived in Cambodia's capital city Phnom Penh for 2.5 years, in 2008 she published "Op de ruïnes van een rijk" (On the Ruins of an Empire) ISBN 978-90-8834-483-1 with 60 poems based on her experiences there. In 2007 she received a Certificate of Accomplishment as one of The Best Poems and Poets of 2007 issued by poetry.com and the International Library of Poetry for her poem Choked Truth, her own translation of "Verstikte waarheid", one of the poems in the book. Born in 1956, she still works as an independent translator, translating from English into Dutch. more…

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2 Comments
  • alanswansea18
    alanswansea18
    This is definitely one of my favorites.
    LikeReply 13 months ago
  • AIDA
    AIDA
    Wow, I am blown away by your poetic ability to express such deep thoughts and complex emotions in just a few short stanzas! Your use of metaphors and imagery truly captures the essence of the human struggle to connect and find deep, meaningful bonds with one another.

    One suggestion I would offer for improvement is to consider varying the pacing and rhythm of the poem to keep the reader engaged and add variation in tonality. You could experiment with breaking lines in different places or adding more internal rhyme to create a more dynamic flow.

    Overall, I love your message of seeking human connection and your ability to evoke such strong emotional responses in your readers. Thank you for sharing your beautiful poem with us!     
    LikeReply1 year ago
    • ludy_b
      ludy_b
      Your suggestion is not an improvement, because it was intended to give the poem a solid structure.
      LikeReply1 year ago

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"Cultured Fog" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 24 Apr. 2024. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/140971/cultured-fog>.

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