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A Plea

Franklin P. Adams 1881 (Chicago, Illinois) – 1960 (New York City, New York)

Writers of baseball, attention!
  When you're again on the job-
When, in your rage for invention,
  You with the language play hob-
Most of your dope we will pardon,
  Though of the moth ball it smack;
But-cut out the 'sinister garden,'
  Chop the 'initial sack.'

Rake poor old Roget's 'Thesaurus'
  For phrases fantastic and queer;
And though on occasions you bore us,
  We will refrain from a sneer.
We will endeavour to harden
  Ourselves to the rest of your clack,
If you'll cut out the 'sinister garden'
  And chop the 'initial sack.'

Singers of words that are scrambled,
  Say, if you will, that he 'died,'
Write, if you must, that he 'ambled'-
  We shall be last to deride.
But us to the Forest of Arden,
  Along with the misanthrope Jaques,
If you cling to the 'sinister garden'
  And stick to 'initial sack.'

Speak of the 'sphere's aberration,'
  Mention the 'leathery globe,'
Say he got 'free transportation'-
  Though that try the patience of Job.
But if you're wise you'll discard en-
  Cumbrances such as we thwack-
Especially 'sinister garden'
  And the 'initial sack.

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Submitted on May 13, 2011

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Franklin P. Adams

Franklin Pierce Adams was an American columnist known as Franklin P. Adams and by his initials F. P. A.. Famed for his wit, he is best known for his newspaper column, "The Conning Tower", and his appearances as a regular panelist on radio's Information Please. A prolific writer of light verse, he was a member of the Algonquin Round Table of the 1920s and 1930s. more…

All Franklin P. Adams poems | Franklin P. Adams Books

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