Who am I?

my auntie once told me..."precious you could be anything you want to be"
but then,she also made it clear the need to have a reason.

she said its up to me to figure em out!
these words still resound in my head like it was just yesterday;

And each time I pick interest in  something,
her words haunt my imagination....it keeps screaming"HAVE A REASON"

though the strong passion,yet I stop at the spot....glued on my mind is the fact that I don't have no reason
and I  begin to wonder ....what is my purpose in life?

the strong  determination I had like second ago then burns down like dry wood throw into blazing fire and gradually it fades...
 leaving me with no choice but to look elsewhere.. maybe, just maybe my passion could be there
WAKE UP!!!!THIS IS REALITY GIRL!!!I tell myself.....

what do I want ? why are my  thoughts Soo shallow? honestly I'm losing my sanity!.
Who am I? really,who am I?
I need answers.i have options,but yet I pick the wrong ones...or maybe they are right.    ......
what kind of life do I want??

 I'm so empty.. no answers,no identity!! who am I???why is my soul Soo idle?
and just then,a still voice pops in saying
     "ask your friend "yes!!! I scream,and just when I pick up my mobile to dial a number of that friend, I discover ...I'm all alone ..I AM ALL ALONE!!!..(hmm)

My failure to get reasons... my ignorance to answer the question "who am I?" has chased em all away ...
and now I'm left pondering on what would lead me to prosperity....
                **************************
Guess what???I still haven't come to a conclusion.. how long shall I continue to be on outcast?
everything I have planned to be hasn't worked out, all  because I don't know who I am..even if I do,what are my reasons?

I flipped through the pages of my dictionary...ive asked the web but I still haven't found out the true definition to my actuality.

 They say I have endless possibilities, but I still can't find the right measure i don't even know where to start...I'm  not even trending!! I look on social media and..and  everyone dresses  better than I do, and I'm bitter...i can't even take pictures right....they are good at  what they  do and I haven't found a thing to do with my disposition !!!!WHO AM I?

I wish I could change!!!
 yeah can I?
I could follow the tide!I could do what my friend do!I could forget that I need a reason! I could club,I could have sex with random guys or even do drugs ..yes I could do all that..
yeah I'll pretend to fit in.. I mean,it's hard to turn all that down even though I know that's not who I am..

weekdays I do it all but here I am... on a Sunday regretting who I was all week long .
I'm ashamed of who I've become ..
WHO THE HELL AM I LORD!!

I go to church sometimes and each time,I ask my maker who I am..... do I have an aim these seasons?if yes,why do I keep ceasing?

God for your sake, you made me.. you have reasons.. I am different from others..im unique!!so why do I feel like I'm decreasing?my purpose can't be the same with that of other mortals and  that that's why I come to you asking my rationale....
who am I? I know I'm someone but I don't know who. why am I confused??

I'm active in the spiritual,but I'm hardly present in the physical....
I'm waiting for your response God....or this pressure could weigh me down completely ..

And when you do speak,
I hope I listen and have my retort.....(sigh)