888-373-7888 (Part 2)

When I was praying for guidance
When I was praying for you to show my way
You turned your head and looked the other way
You handed me a bottle. Handed me a bag.
Now you’re telling me to quit acting like I’m free
Acting like you didn’t participate in the same things
Acting like you’re so much better than me
Now some of you, I believe you. But where were you? Turning your head ?
Laughing at all the things I misread?
Laughing at my dread?
Letting me believe the lies?
You let the bad guys treat me like their property.
All for what? The nod? The grief I couldn’t kick?
Wrapped up your lies and wanted to die.So many times.
I can’t even count
Rolling with the devil
Calling me a rebel
I can still see the colors. I couldn’t run from it. I couldn’t hide from it. I couldn’t learn from it. I couldn’t even live through it.
You listened to them murder her
but say you believe in God. Say you believe in good.
Say you’re so much better than me
I’m not right. And you’re not wrong
But I’m not wrong, so you’re not right
There is no fight.
You turned out the lights.
You got a whole lot of people in the dark
Funny how they pretend to know how it feels.
How I should act
How I should give in yet again
How I should just let them tell me things that are hard to hear
But never the truth
Let them tell me bits and pieces
Let them tell me to die everyday
That I’m a crack hoe
That I don’t deserve to be told the truth
That I shouldn’t have done what I did
But when I asked and asked thats what they wanted from me
They wanted to take my life from me. They already did
There is no way to change
There was no one left that ever wanted me free
All the good ones that were allowed in my life had their hands tied
Others too scared to get in the middle of it
But still believing they are so much better than you and me.
I just can’t understand how I was ever suppose to know how to be treated.
How they can press their beliefs on to me
after they play their part in the lies to benefit themselves through the greed.
After they watched me cry and wonder why
After they took and took and took until their was nothing left to hope for
Making me wonder if it was me.
It was never just me
I’m not trying to win
I’m not trying to lead
I’m not asking for your grief
I’m not asking for your pain
I’m not asking for your peace
I’m not looking for your wave
I’m not looking for me to be saved
Then the bad guys (or gypsy gods?) got you involved with pure touch
So they gave you a problem and now you
Want to give me all of your opinions and hate
I am not the only one that gets what I get .
You covered my mouth
Now you call me names
that’s the anger talking
The problems you can’t see
The thing that can’t set you free
You can’t click your problems away
You can’t be set free
I never wanted it to be this way.
I never wanted you to hate me.
In spite of everything here I am, and here I stand.

I was always looking for love in all the wrong places
Embracing the monsters
Relating to things that couldn’t relate to me
Not understanding who was for me