Apparently Lost



What evidence or certainty do we have it all regarding afterlife, the truth and when it calls? Yes, and what is more is if to know there's more to gain,
For if I die and go to hell, I doubt a spirit feels pain
Or if the Pearly Gates is where I shall be headed,
Tell me now, what spirit cares if streets are gold embedded and
Then, of course, what of the source that says I'll be reset?
Could it be a tiny flea could return as an egret?
It seems as but a stretch of our sweet imagination, and It feels as but a sponge that avoids all validation
And if it's true that we use a small percentage of our brain,
Why can't it be that what we think we know now is insane?
Is it disturbing when one questions what he or she has learned,
When as a child, lies from your folks felt as though they burned
And told for what, subordination?
Well, if so, then for whom,
Big Brother, mom and dad, myself, god or Dr. doom? I wish deeply that the day of understanding would arrive.
More so, I hope it comes and stays while I am still alive.

About this poem

Apparently Lost reflects my long-held honest observations & unorthodox perception of the still biggest existing cons in operation, the BFF's of religion- Hearsay & Speculation, the triggering sources of mob mentality, hateful & regressive outcomes. I also witness those whose charitable lifestyles are lowkey fueled to accomidate their selfish expectancy of alleged rewards after death or by the fear & guilt tactics that allegedly justify their fraudelent campaign. I constantly find & dispise hypocritical minds, convinced of invisible products over direct experience. I ask questions, hope to reinforce independent thought and expose the fear and guilt tactics that are so often misused to manipulate the masses. I mean no disrespect even though I am insulted by delusional deception. I am compelled to be authentic & attemot to express such in this poem. 

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Written on October 05, 2022

Submitted by Vainwolf6969 on October 05, 2022

Modified on March 05, 2023

1:07 min read
7

Quick analysis:

Scheme AABCDEFAAGGFHII
Closest metre Iambic octameter
Characters 1,036
Words 220
Stanzas 1
Stanza Lengths 15

Tom Fox

My mind has a mind of its own. They challenge each other & often do battle. I struggle between their conflicts. For examples... My family can no longer be called family for they have exiled me & deliberately continue to disregard my suffering & transient status. My idealistic concepts of what family values should be, are painfully delusional. Resentment of those who I have loved, had committed to instantly & were invested in entirely, who simply used then deleted me, took advantage of & abandoned me. My loyalty & contributions were also proven to be foolishly wasted. I know myself well yet life has lost meaning. My worth is unmatched & purpose is defeated. I'm trapped & can't stand this empty existence. This freedom lacks what I desire the most, a safe & dependable place, peaceful headspace & a caring relationship that stays- that's what I call a loving home. *keeps dreaming more…

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    "Apparently Lost" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 28 Mar. 2024. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/138791/apparently-lost>.

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