IF TOMORROW(15/6/2022) IS MY LAST DAY

Today is 14th June 2022
And I hope tomorrow is the end.
I have always known it would end
But I always hoped not this painfully

I do not exactly want to die
But I definitely can't continue this way
Dreaming and yearning for life
But remaining a living-dead

I have always been alone and lonely
And I will die alone and lonely
All the friendships I cultivated
Always betrayed or deserted

Now I don't seek for friendships
I fear any form of socialization
When ninety percent betray
A new friendship is a fatal mistake

I have slept hungry too many times
I have eaten too much hog's food
Despite a vivid banquet fantasy
It can only last for so long

Living in a children's home was no home
And renting a room is no home
I am tired of dreading the landlord
And being thrown out every time

I am weary of watching others succeed
While my dreams remain just that
What mistake did I ever do
To make my dreams invalid?

Let me rest my weary bones.