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My Fear



I feel like my heart is breaking. I'm so tired of faking. I know God is the only reason I'm still breathing.... My faith is weary and the fog isn't clearing. One day I feel strong and the next I'm struggling with trying to belong. The devil gets in my head and makes his bed. Takes my dreams and floods my eyes. Makes me taste the one thing that always made me feel fine. At least until it made me want to die. I know God hears my cries and dries my eyes, but why can't I get past the anxiety of not wanting to be me? I plea to just be free and to not keep living in misery. The Big Book, it's been proven for centuries, that doesn't stop my overthinking. The promises that I'll one day be fine doesn't keep me from losing my mind. Why can't I focus and try my best to devoted. I'm hopeless, floating in this ocean made of sin. God please part the water's and let me win. Please take me somewhere I've never been, a place without fear at least until the fog is clear.

About this poem

This poem was written in March 2019. I wrote this in the middle of my first true relapse after getting clean in December 2017.

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Written on March 17, 2019

Submitted by JadedPeace on October 04, 2022

1:02 min read
104 Views

Discuss this Lora Kimmons poem with the community:

3 Comments
  • teril
    You have the courage to express your struggle, and as I read, I struggle with you. I am so glad that you have the strength to write such touching poetry. I hope that it takes you somewhere you've never been... 
    LikeReplyReport29 days ago
  • JadedPeace
    Thank you so much. God opens and closes doors for each of us daily. Tranquility is a blessing not often recognized. We/ I must stay grateful and open minded.
    LikeReplyReport1 month ago
  • rnadc
    I liked "please part the waters, and let me win". Some good stuff in there.
    I hope you find some tranquility
    LikeReplyReport1 month ago

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"My Fear" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2022. Web. 29 Nov. 2022. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/138733/my-fear>.

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