Am I breathing!?

Because my social distortion is leaving me behind.
Can I please just make up my mind.
I know I gotta breathe.
But thing seam awful tempting.
I know I can due this but the weight is subduing.
Maybe medication isn't it. Maybe I just need to drop it. Just turn in and tune out.
Nothing was really made to go my way. A limbo like purgatory for those who do there best to win.
Am I breathing because this dosent feel like living. I wanna reach for the stars but those objects seam closer then they appear.
I look at myself sometimes and I feel like I failed my self. So here I sit an unused one trick pony.
I always tell people why I'm disappointing and that's because they never ask if I'm OK. I feel I'll be asked that once I reach my gates.
It's a feeling of being sixty six feet below with no where to go. I'm shaking I these bones but I'm not old. I want people to come near but my anxiety makes it clear. I just wanna dissapear