(Conversation Isn’t Communication)

I do struggle with communication,
Especially when it comes to you.
I may seem like I have it all,
Or that I have it all under control.
That’s just because the more lies you tell,
The more believable they become,
To a point where the line between lies and honesty blurs.
 
It should have been easy like the past few times,
But I’m slowing down.
Going fast would have been thrilling,
But it would have been catastrophic.
The direction largely depends on you.
I’m at this precise pace.
 
Maybe making mistakes is my concern,
I don’t want to falter.
So with that, take the lead,
I can trip and fall as I follow you.
If I were to lead you through these forests,
You would lose me in a matter of minutes.
 
Maybe I would show you that there are better people out there,
Only to have the doors shut on you.
There’s a reason I haven’t been prosperous in such endeavors,
Even if I may not know it so clearly.
So it would be better to end this chase now,
At a place where things are on a positive note.
 
I could fail as I reach out for you.
This mouth has been known to damage hearts and souls.
This mind has made decisions to leave others in my path.
These hands have only ever known how to harm.
These eyes have only kept watch on my targets,
These ears can only hear the latest rumor about me.
 
I can’t communicate with you,
Not when things have gone wrong before.
It’s not about fear,
It’s about putting you ahead of myself.
Just run and pray that these winds don’t flow in my direction.
It gets hard to control the wild when it runs inside you.