Shackled to my Thoughts

Forgive me for I have been consumed with my thoughts. My heart's in the right place, but my head's in the wrong space.

I try to move forward, but the past has me captive. I reach to you for the keys, but you can't seem to understand what keys I need because you don't see the shackles.

The shackles that has me in tears has me in fear that I will lose my limb from the nerves that are damaged by the tight grips of society telling me what I should look like, act like, and think like.

You can't understand why I'm looking for accolades because you feel I should give freely and be free of what has me shackled. You see the blood, sweat, and tears, but think this should not come with a price. Yet you fail to see that my peace does come with a price.

These shackles grow tighter the more that I work to stay on top of things that society and you feel I should be on top of. This list has made me a slave to my thoughts.

I'm tired of the beatings and would prefer awards to show that I'm great. To show that it's worth it. Now, I just want to be free, but I'm still enslaved to my thoughts... Work hard, be great.

If you're great, you can be free. However, the harder I work, the tighter the cuffs become. The closer I feel to freedom, the harder the labor becomes.

The labor torments me and it hurts so bad I can just scream, but no one will hear me because I'm trapped in the dungeon of pain that's filled with the agony of broken promises and unacceptable feelings.

The mask that I wear daily should hide what I feel inside. However, the mask I wear resembles the feelings I share.

I can't hold a conversation for fear of being rejected for saying the wrong thing, doing the wrong thing, and being the wrong thing.

How do I show you the shackles when you won't even look to see where the shackles are located? Just because you don't see the shackles doesn't mean they aren't there.

Look harder, invest harder, care more, and you'll see more.

The shackles can't be unlocked physically.... But you still hold the key to unlocking what's inside of me mentally.

~Sandra Britt