High on life

Hammered on darkness
Indeed i'm high on life, but just the horrid bits
Exhaling the blood of our dying earth
It's exalted in madness yes-
But it seems you can see the orange leaves burn brighter when usually you are surrounded by blackness.
I suppose I've found solitude in the deranged screams in my head
I've discovered comfort in my cold stretchy skin
Been set ablaze by the monotony of everyday boring life
Become passionate for the old scrapes and cuts who've left these strange little lines on my body.
Honestly I've fallen so desperately in love these tears and silly thoughts of death and destruction..
There's a certain immaculate beauty in all this pain and anger.
This craving for messy rooms and cold shivery nights, for desperate cries for help that are never answered, for the blood and sweat from slaving away for nothing..
Perhaps I'll stay this way forever?
I certainly hate it less than I hate everything else.