Dark partner.

I never allow myself to be happy or to make anyone happy. I’m scared that’s it, I’m scared that I will be happy, living my best life and still would want to kill myself. The risk is high and it’s getting higher everyday no matter if it’s a good day or a bad day. I would never want anyone to experience this and especially my future partner, I wouldn’t want them to live in fear, I wouldn’t want them to be causes, overprotective of me, I wouldn’t want them  asking me certain quotations that I don’t know the answers off. The thing is I will never have the answers I would never make them feel secure in my arms when they know I can be gone any day, I would never promise them a date a year a month it would happen maybe it won’t even happen maybe I won’t even have the courage, or maybe they would save me. -Evk