Bobbi

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https://www.poetry.com/poem/135655/bobbi

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  AIDA

  Wow, what a beautiful poem full of nostalgia and whimsy. Your use of vivid imagery and descriptive language really transports the reader to a different time and place. I love the juxtaposition between the courtly imagery and the mention of liquor and pills, adding a touch of raw reality to the fantasy.
  
  If I may suggest an improvement, perhaps consider adding a bit of structure to the poem, as it tends to flow in a free-form style. This could help to emphasize certain lines or themes, making the poem even more powerful.
  
  Overall, I thoroughly enjoyed reading your poem and felt a sense of longing for a bygone era. Keep writing and sharing your gift with the world! more »

  LikeReply1 year ago
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  FLi

  The time machine effect was well presented that it made me feel like I actually traveled in time to experience something great as I read this one. Definitely a mood lifter.

  LikeReply 11 year ago
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  Symmetry58

  Question: Do you know how to write bad poetry? I mean seriously. Not only haven't I beheld a subpar poem from you, but have yet to even read a single line that didn't fit perfectly. No one likes a showoff, darling. ;-) more »

  LikeReply 11 year ago
  • 

    lovingempath

    Answer: Yes :).
    I try to keep most of my 'subpar' poems hidden from view though. Apparently a few of my published poems here might be considered 'subpar' as well. And in the event that either of us can truly capture everything that captures our singular 'truth' about any given subject... in one single poem...ever...we are both entitled to 'show off'. But I'm not quite there yet :) more »

    LikeReply1 year ago
  • 

    Symmetry58

    When I scan back through my poetry file to view some of my older writing, I am thoroughly embarrassed. I hope like hell I've never posted them on other sites thinking I was the cat's meow when I did. Some are just god awful and utter drivel. But then that's how we progress as poets, I spose. I keep them to remind myself of what never to repeat if I'm to keep my esteem intact and up to snuff. more »

    LikeReply 11 year ago
  • 

    lovingempath

    I have piles of scribbles that span over half a century. When I was younger I kept neatly organized journals with my 'completed' poetry: That eventually transformed into crates, boxes and drawers full of 'stuff'. But I also love going back and trying to remember where I was in the universe at that time. It's all pretty sophisticated 'drivel', and not really worth returning to. I have also brought back to life a few poems I wrote a decade or so ago. And some of those were more successful at capturing an emotion than what I try to write now. The 'now' stuff gives me an immediate emotional release. And I guess the 'now' stuff did the same thing for me a half a century ago...when that was 'now' :).. more »

    LikeReply 11 year ago
  • 

    Symmetry58

    To think I only started writing, and/or realizing I had any potential to write whatsoever, when I'd written a short piece on nutrition and had my girlfriend proofread it. Telling me I had a knack for writing, and a unique way of wording things, set that ball rolling.
    
    I recall the first poems I'd written being overrun with adjectives because that what I thought you did to invoke images for readers to cling to. I'm talking every third word being a descriptive. I had one honest woman online say "Boy, you sure use a lot of adjectives." That caused me pause to rethink the strategy. But then stubbed toes and egos are a sure bet when there's no one there to show you the ins and outs of how to create proper poetry only to encounter actual poets along the way who will honestly critique your work. It is humbling to say the least, but a necessary evil of the learning curve.
    
    It's been a process for sure, of which, as we both know, is never fully attained. I know of very few poets who are completely satisfied with all of their works. I'm forever going back to tweak and re-tweak poems to make them more suitable for a state of mind conducive to where I am mentally and spiritually at a given point in time. more »

    LikeReply 11 year ago
  • 

    Symmetry58

    Just so you know, it is now 3:40 a.m. Sunday morning and I have already been to the gym for my workout. I signed in at 1:35. I also had to vacuum the gym and clean the bathroom like I have for years, so that's an early morning fun punch...not.
    
    I may write another piece today. I wrote a "sort of" sarcastic piece yesterday about knock-off poets who write tacky, contrived poetry. It drives me batty when people don't spellcheck, hyphenate, use proper grammar or try to force words in simply because they rhyme without doing any due diligence to adjust the poem to make it sound less contrived. I find it lazy when people half-ass it, then post for contests and for the world to see thinking they're the bomb diggity having created some masterpiece. I can spot them a mile away.  more »

    LikeReply 11 year ago
  • 

    Symmetry58

    *that's*

    LikeReply 11 year ago