blue hearts

frankly, its always in my head
just keeping myself dead
so i couldn’t feel dread.
i been through a lot but i chose to be conscious
does it really matter if you wanna be suspicious?
i got a lot questions,
but how could i get explanations?
i’m already dead, i buried myself down.
february 14, 2022.
she’s 21, she’s still a girl inside my thoughts,
she live in other dimension, and it’s drought.
instead receiving gifts, i received grief.
it’s wistful and imprisoned,
undefeatable battles.
i’ve tried hell, it just like my life here on earth.
it’s a loop.
i can’t relate to my peers.
wishing well turn to solicitude
am i meant to understand my guilt?
or i’m just not here anymore?
it’s not pretty isn’t?
life just ain’t fair.