Advice to New Dog Owners

Remember, your dog is a human too. Your dog needs you.

You need your dog. It’s mutual. Feed your dog. Not just the same old dry pellets that sort of taste like they may have once been meat. That’s boring.

Give them table scraps. Let them try sausage. Let them try oatmeal.

Give them carrots and lettuce. They are more vegetarian than you realize.

Offer your dog coffee and juice. See which foods appeal to them.

Who knows? You may just find out a bit about their personality. Exercise your dog. Not just taking them for a walk or throwing a bone. That’s boring.

Wrestle with them. Chase squirrels with them. Play monkey in the middle with them. Have fun with your dog. Dress them up. Howl with them.

Look out the window with them. Be a complete weirdo. Include your dog in family discussions. “How’s your day?” “Woof”. “Good to hear that!”

Give your dog a bed, Not just a rug on the floor. Get them a bed for every room in the house. Tuck them in with five million blankets.

Buy them pillows. Buy them dolls. Annoy your dog.

Don’t just sit there watching TV, while they sleep for ten hours more than they need to. That’s boring. Flick their ears. Roll them over and tickle them. Touch their nose and say “bop!”.

Make up silly names and use them. Look at their reaction. Narrate your dog based on their expression. Listen to what they are saying. They are actually quite similar to teenagers.

Do all of this and see how human your dog becomes. Realize how human your dog is.