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What will I say?

DevonTBates 1980 (Norfolk)

Free verse
What, shall, I say?
 If, I, did, not love, who, could make, me feel, okay?
 If, the rose, did, not bloom, then autumn, would, prove!
 Your, love, still, paves, my way!
Who, is, the best?
 With, no heart, a numb, quest!
Yet, life, does progress!
 Today, and tomorrow, strive, my, beautiful, friend!

About this poem

A reflection about enduring and living! Not just existing!

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Written on August 25, 2022

Submitted by devon_b on August 25, 2022

Modified by devon_b on September 03, 2022

17 sec read
111

Quick analysis:

Scheme AABACCDE
Closest metre Iambic tetrameter
Characters 298
Words 59
Stanzas 1
Stanza Lengths 8
Full analysis for What will I say? »

DevonTBates

Born in Norfolk Virginia! I live in Fayetteville nc! I am 42! more…

All DevonTBates poems | DevonTBates Books

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2 Comments
  • teril
    teril
    Nicely chosen words and sentiment. I also think that the number of commas distracts from the meaning of the words. However, I think you can continue to use the comma technique to emphasis your point. Just make sure that you choose very carefully where you want to put them. 
    LikeReply 11 year ago
  • jerrylogie
    jerrylogie
    I found this to be a very good poem AFTER I read it the 2nd and 3rd time, ignoring the punctuation. All the commas actually distract from the point being made and interrupts the flow and rythem of the poem...The versus were excellent... 
    LikeReply 11 year ago
    • devon_b
      devon_b
      ty I really appreciate the honesty because I've been struggling with should I always add the commas or let them flow more! 5 stars! I really needed that! Thanks, DevonTBates2022©
      LikeReply1 year ago

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"What will I say?" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 19 Apr. 2024. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/134825/what-will-i-say?>.

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