Mother Me

Having kids is hard when you don’t have any support.
If I could go back I would not
I don't say it out loud
Because I don't want to be judged
I love them yes, there isn’t a doubt
But they are time consuming
They have taken up my entire life

My days are a single routine
Everyday just goes into one and that ain’t right.
I love them yes, but they don't feel
for me
I am just here to meet their needs
and it doesn't matter what's
happening with me.

I would probably have one not
so many.
The worse thing could happen to
any woman is having your career
boom at the same time when your
children are growing up. You always
gotta choose.
Me or them, someone gotta lose.

I go somewhere and
my mind is at home. I can't enjoy being out because I am always thinking of them.
There is no me, just them.

To raise, nurture, take care of them fully, I have to be completely engaged, my career/ambitions doesn’t allow that.
Being a parent is hard work and that’s a fact.

The worse part of it.
Mothers today are not okay.
We are burnt out.
It can’t always be like this,
There must be another way.

Looking over baby pictures. I wonder how I missed those moments. Why wasn’t I present then?
Nah I was trying to make ends meet, the means defines the ends.

I can’t wait for them to grow up therefore I don’t get to enjoy any of the process because I can’t wait for it to be over so that I can be sane.
So that I can be free.
I tell younger girls, don’t make the same mistakes.
Make sure this is what you want.
You don’t want to be like me.