Dear Grandma

You're with me every day in the most random ways. It’s hard for me actually say but I don’t like life this way. I want a call saying how is your day. Reminding me of how precious life can be simply just being me. I won the lottery when god gave you me. Imagining how hard your life had been you always smiled at me, you made me art in the most abstract way. I’ve seen sadness, but the rain always went away. Then came the sun and every step became fun, filled with decorating projects ending in midnight snacks. How’d you make your sandwiches like that? Many years came and gone I didn’t know id hurt for so long; but my tears aren’t gone. Smelling your perfume takes me back to the church pews you sang and sang and all the bells rang. The whole room singing right after you the confidence in you I’d buy a few. If only I could call you I’d say I love you too.