Tested

Monday, July 11 2022
Was this it?
That test I always hear so many people speak of when it comes to my faith in you?
Have you shown me in many ways and placed in my face to see?
I'm a blind reflection headed into the light...
a light that appears to flash with every blink I take preventing me from seeing further.
I look to the right and there I am... alone and afraid and wondering why my life has unfolded and settled on the flat side of this wheel and I cry...
a deep cry within my soul because my spirit has been broken and I am dead.
I am no longer alive and death within my being has withered away with the winter of 21'.
To the right of me I am struggling with the pieces that have come undone when my world was rocked by a love i thought was true.
my existence shattered and every piece of me floated off into oblivion.
All I did was Blink
I keep finding myself here at the very beginning again.

I take a moment to look to my left and I see me getting out of bed restless and frail.
My body... worn from being on constant repeat.
Even at this moment ... I am unaware.
Unaware that I have made any progress whatsoever and I want to just give up. It's so much easier to call it quits.
And well that is how I feel in this moment anyway.