I want to drown in the past and call it the best decision of my life

all of the missing plastic is in the garage.  when you ask to
write inside of my writing.  when you drop me off in the
K-Mart parking lot and say you will be back later. the minimall
is close by a horse farm. at birthday parties he would
pull me on his lap. i wanted to be on the swings. no one was
watching. lift the window and let the snow come in the room.
play in the snow.      make angels in the snow.
now i am walking home from dance class on the main road.
i am seven. you were late
picking me up.
        i am wearing close to nothing
              and every step feels like his lap.
the best possible place to be now is the ocean. this problem we
have. let's call it the way that it is. and ever shall be.
i am wearing my Swarovski Crystals.   i cost 99 dollars.
i am floating in my Baby Phat sweater like an olive in
your martini. i am at the mall. i am watching cheerleaders
at the mall.      look at that brat. look at that mall brat.
           i want to drown in the past and call it

the best decision of my life.