Unrequited nightmare

I was in love with a memory that never existed.
You were nothing more than a daydream
that I prayed and pleaded to become reality.
Yes, I burned for you.
I was the fire of our relationship.
I felt a love so strong it almost killed me.
But the love I felt was never for you
Not the real you anyway.
The truth is, my best moments with you
Were the ones in my head.

Do you know what was real?
The times you made me feel alone.
The times I waited with my arms open
And my heart exposed
Just for you to pretend to not even see.
To not even acknowledge how I felt.

You cannot lose something you never had
This feeling of loss is not truly about you
I mourn the high hopes I had
And the feelings that I wished you had, but didn’t.
I lost nothing
Because what has even really changed?
I felt the same with you as I do without you.
Alone.