Richie I need to talk.

Can I speak to you for a minute?
well it may taken longer then a minute,cause i have so much to say.
 Can you spare a little time to listen? Hello!! Are you there?
I know they say if you speak, that one person will be right by your side. and listening.
Can I cry? Knowing you can't wipe my tears this time.!
Can I ask you why even though you can't answer me.
 but since you I am the only one that can speak.
Here's what I need to say.
Can I tell you life is not the same, the butterflies I'd get when ever you entered the room.
Can I tell you now when I wake up in the morning and look out the window the view is not the same, I don't see that glow off the sun anymore. and the smell of the morning air does not even have a scent anymore.
Can i tell you that people say it gets easier in time, or you know they are in a better place no more pain ,Just remember all the memories you have.
Can I tell you that people will tell me in time you heal.
Can I tell you i haven't grieved in 3 years. I had blocked out the truth of reality.
Can I tell you where you have been those years,I created my mind to think,feel,and react that you are incarcerated again and what perfect timing cause covid-19 was here and had everything locked down anyway.
Can I tell you how reassuring it felt to think you were miles away and I'd make a visit to see you when everything opened for prisons.
Can I tell you I woke up this year on your day.
And it was the worst wake up call I have gotten.
Can I tell you I realized your not in jail. I am not getting a visit, there won't be any phone calls,and the mailman will not be dropping off any letters anytime soon.
Can I tell you I know your gone. I got all the flash backs that I been blocking out.
Can I tell you I got that call and I seen the number and it was late i knew something was wrong.
Can I tell you that 2 blocks felt like 20 miles. and the hallway when I got there looked longer then usual,it seemed the more I walked forward the hallway got darker and longer.
Can I tell you when I laid next to you as I cried hoping you would wake up.
What I can tell you is that night I laid next to you, You took me with you....

And at night i don't see the moon as much.