Is this pain or something else

Whenever, hide blooming pain inside me
Breaks my heart in pieces of glass
Merely a cluster of grief covers
My entire heart, also
Makes my eyes like an ocean of tears
Cries since late night,
Leaves a scar of pain beneath the eyes
I question,
Could I see happiness with my teary eyes
My eyes with deep consent, answer
Only a sign of gloom I can see as so far, then
A darkness spreads around every corner
I try to escape from such darkness
A darkness of the past,
Revisits again, holds my heart
Unknowingly, I love to enjoy the pain
I receive from memorable past
I wander whenever I feel
Am miles from my blooming pain
But, am not willing to bear such pain
At one side Still want to hold,
Am surrounded by dilemma, asks
Is this pain or something else
I feel when I hide my blooming pain