Dear Amy



I am too broken for a society who needs my life centered on production              
And yet not broken enough to earn concern of the trauma-hungry masses

Who cannot see me if not to consume me.



I am too gay for a world built to spit out tidy little binary, nuclear families.
And yet not gay enough to have suffered the right to proudly queer

The way I always have.



I am too bad a mother to be the sun, moon, and stars I am expected to be for my child
And too good a mother to fall to the ground, trembling and spent

Though my mind groans {screams} in tired agony.



I am too fat to love my body, or feel comfortable in my clothes
And too skinny to "really understand fatphobia"

Though I have been washed in it until it's standards echo as my own.



I am too sick to live life juggling
This ever growing number of glass balls (with contents kept so cleanly isolated)
And sick enough to see that these balls I am to juggle in sharp disctinction from each other

 Are killing me...



So where do I sit?
Not on one side
Or on the other

Not enough.



Too functional to have my disfunction supported.
And too disfunctional to thrive without support.


So brick by brick I must build a bridge.
My blood and tears,
The mortar between each stone I pluck

 From this foundation I did not lay.

The foundation that built a world where-in
We, as we are, cannot ever be enough.


A world which feasts on pain and hunger,
And dances around the flames of my self loathing. {Dances eagerly in the flames of my self loathing}

And maybe... Hopefully...
By the time my blood is spent
And my tears have dried

This bridge will lay a path that takes us, not here... Or there...
But to each space inbetween.

Where simply being,
Is finally enough.

Because we *are* enough.

About this poem

After a heart felt and healing conversation with a friend. This unburdened itself from me. It's for every Amy

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Written on April 27, 2021

Submitted by vanessa_f on May 13, 2022

Modified on March 05, 2023

1:55 min read
4

Quick analysis:

Scheme AX B XX X XC B XX X DEF B XGF EX XXX X XH FD BCG XA DH H
Closest metre Iambic hexameter
Characters 1,781
Words 383
Stanzas 20
Stanza Lengths 2, 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 3, 1, 3, 2, 3, 1, 2, 2, 3, 2, 2, 1

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    "Dear Amy" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 28 Mar. 2024. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/127370/dear-amy>.

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