Lately

Lately I've been feeling as if I deserved everything that's happened to me.
My strength is weak and I speak in a whisper.
The rain that remains inside of me will eventually drown my organs.
For the weight held so much pressure that I could no longer contain it.
I thought without a release it will soon destroy me.
I am lost for words I am empty without any space to turn.
I, I don't feel as if I have a way out, my options are thin.
I screamed but no one hears me or even comes to my aid.
It was quoted that if you release your thoughts you will feel better.
But to me it only made you feel worse, for the atmosphere knows it all.
Fore at this point it's useless to deny because more than you know what happened and occurred.
I feared the thought of people's judgemental spurs of the topic spilled.
Lately I've been feeling discombobulated, unworthy, used, abuse, caught in a trap.
It's about my own volition that I can't see passed this crap.
I let you continue talking to my soul as you've burned a hole so deep that it refuse to close and feel love again.
Where can I go if nowhere I run shows me peace.
I want to know!
If I decide to open my eyes will you be there with open arms waiting on me.
I am Earth, I am woman,I am man, I am black I'm white I'm anything but defeated.
I'm not trash, I'm a treasure, I'm not used, abuse or crushed.
 I am whole, I am healed, I am blessed.
Lately my tears has been drowning me towards confusion.
I wanted to drain them but nothing came out only a trickle to a mere drip.
I wanted you, but you didn't want me, for my past forced you away.
Now that the truth is here, I can finally walk freely to find someone who truly needs me.
I've learned that if I lean on my own nothing happens.
Yet if I wait and obey all things are possible.
What's your choice pick your poison.
Will you just remain the fool that loves nobody.
Or will you play it cool and gain access to the best thing you've ever encountered?
LOVE