Never Say Never Ever

I have been married twice before.
And walked out of several,
Doors behind me to close.
Slamming them in heated fits of rage.
To become honest with myself.
And to no one else to prove,
When I say never again ever...
Will I put anyone else through,
My kept determination not to be aggravated...
By someone who insists,
I married them through thin and thick.
Until death do us part!

I was close to almost convinced of this.
Then one day,
This voice came to me and said,
'Why wait for what may continue on and on.
For years to come to then regret,
What that feeling of being in love was.

I'm telling you,
Go to that door.
Open it.
Smell the freedom beckoning inside of you,
Saying 'Release me. Unchain my heart.'
And behind you...close that door.
Have a good time.
Find somewhere to do this.
Then declare to someone met you like,
Of a having amnesia.
Done to keep it if they and you both agree,
This secret will be kept between you both!
Two in need to begin a brand new start.

'Uh?
Faithful and loyal,
Voice in my head?'

Yes.
That would be me.
Speak.
And share with me your concerns.

'Wouldn't your suggestions be devious?
Misleading and dishonest?
Although...
I'm not saying anything about the potential.
The ideas are great.'

Yes.
Of course.
Aren't they 'our' ideas?
However...
Which one of us,
Brought up the subject...
Of how best to end an unhappy relationship?
Or a legalized marriage.
With crying witnesses observing it.
To not have to say,
What it is you won't do...
Never ever again?
You didn't have to buy the entire cow.
And...
You did this to yourself TWICE!?
TWICE!!?
Come on DUMMY.
Who is the fool here?
Don't throw that guilt trip back on me.
I ain't having it!
Cut me some slack, please.
Now...
What is it next will you do?

'I think I should sit and consider,
What action is best to take.'

Stop.
Don't waste any more of your time.
Done to do on my watch.
To complain and whine then to your friends.
About living a life that drives you crazy.
As if they are not already,
Out of their numbed and medicated minds.

'But...'

Oh no.
No buts.
Stop the buts.
Give all the buts and ifs up.
Or,
Better yet...
How about hitting your head,
Against a cemented brick wall.
Until you achieve unconsciousness.
Then...
Who knows?
Pretending to have amnesia,
May be a benefit that attracts your spouse.
And that...
Will be your happiness found.

'That makes no sense.
That's absolutely ridiculous.
I am going to stop listening to you.'

Prove it.
Show me the evidence of this...
Now.

'How?'

Go outside.
Then run as fast as you can,
Into the nearest tree you find.

'And leave myself wounded.
Left in pain to feel.
With no promise I'll be cured,
From my own stupidity?!
A stupidity that doesn't make sense.
Done to make my own stupidity proven?
By hurting myself so someone else,
Has proof of making me a fool?
How stupid can one get?'

Thank You, GOD.
I thought this 'awakening' period,
Would take a lifetime to see it for what it is.
Again...
I leave myself feeling I have achieved,
The keeping of what is left of my sanity!