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IT WAS YOU



IT WAS YOU

I just got tired
Tired of the bruises
Tired of all the makeup
Makeup that didn't work
To cover up
This is my fault
So I have to cover up
I'm a mouthy bitch
So I need to cover up
I was a brave mouthy drunk
So i need to shut up
Shut up
Stop making him do it
Stop disagreeing with him
Just shut up and go through it
But I just couldn't do it
My mamma raised me not to
I couldn't leave
But I couldn't cower
I stood up the best way I knew
With my mouthy fucking mouth
And boy, does my jaw regret it
Does my missing tooth regret it
My fractured collar bone regret it
The one that still aches when it gets cold
And, man was he so cold
Staring down at me
With my face to the floor
And my tears, blood, and snot
On the floor
The same floor that met my head too hard
And too many times
Just like the door
And the stars and the black and the ringing
In my ears
He'd pick me up...
And I finally cried "No More"
I can't breathe under your weight
Please let me up
I'm sorry, just wait
Let me go...
Let my ankles go
Let my forehead go
Let me sleep
Because I'm so tired
So very tired.
You tell me im worthless
You tell me im pathetic and weak
And I believe you
I believed you
And the hell you put me through
My mind through
My broken body and heart through
I can still feel it, you know
What you put me through.
I remember the things you put me through
Like it was yesterday,
My bones don't forget.
And my tongue don't regret
Coming back at you
In the end
I was scared
But more angry
More sick and tired than sad
I know it was never fair
And 'our' friends they never cared.
I'm black and blue from my neck
To my broken toes
And the only one who knows
Who believes
Is me and you
Just me and you
You knew what you did
And you know what you do.
Because you're a man,
Because you have a dick
You can put me through
What you put me through
And tell em all that you didn't do
And they all believe you.
Turns out I got no friends
That associate with you.
Despite my demeanor
The malaise

Despite all the bruises.
They dont believe me
They believe you.
And I want you to know
Despite my hatred, I don't really blame you.
Because you, yes you
Were raised to abuse
Because you were too.
I just wish anything was sacred enough
For you, to not do, what you did,
And what you brazenly still do.
But that's life now, ain't it.
Despite how much I hate it
And Despite how much you clearly hate me
And all of us, with cunts
We're still just cunts...
Just tiny wet holes
To stick your ineffectual dick into
For 30 seconds or less,
If you really want to know.
And just so you know,
I know you
I know you
More intimately than any of your friends
Your family
Your fair weather friends
Who think I'm crazy for telling
The ones who think they know
Who you are
What you are
The monster that you know
You really are.
I'll keep your secret
But my bones won't forget
And my only regret
Is not screaming the truth
At the top of my lungs.
Till I'm dizzy and my heart is hung
In a trap that won't let me go
Like you wouldn't let me go
When I hollered
"Let me go"
My head in the oven
My clothes torn off
My throat so bruised
I couldn't even cough
I can be quiet
Like you demand me to
I can't be scared
Like you want me to
And I can't say it wasn't you anymore
Because it was;
It WAS YOU.

About this poem

Domestic Violence

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Written on March 08, 2022

Submitted by Sebinajoply on April 08, 2022

3:44 min read
67 Views

Mary Jane Trujillo

I'm a traveler, a transient, a bona-fide felon, a musician, an artist, a writer, a scholar, and a person who has lost all but my life. more…

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2 Comments
  • Neeber
    It seems the author writes, as so many of us do, to deal with and rationalize parts of our lives too difficult to deal with otherwise. This is a bold step in pursuit of her own healing, a scorching rebuke to her abuser, and an acknowledgement of the tragedy of abuse passed generation to generation. 
    LikeReplyReport7 months ago
  • thefirths1913
    I voted for this poem because I think it really captured the pain and self-blame that the abused feels when they are in an abusive relationship. When reading it, I was almost moved to tears by how powerful and emotional it was. I also loved that, in the end, the readers don't know what happened to the abused woman, but we know that she eventually came to the sense that the problem wasn't her fault, which, speaking from experience, is an incredibly tough thing to realize.

    Thank you so much for sharing, and good luck. :)

    -- Fellow Poet
     
    LikeReplyReport7 months ago

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"IT WAS YOU" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2022. Web. 29 Nov. 2022. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/124188/it-was-you>.

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