Grief, My New Complicated Companion

Grief possessed me last night, oh, what a wretched vixen she was.

She stomped on my heart and pulled me into the unknown corners of my mind. The loss of your love here on earth felt so profound and raw all over again.

My memory of your voice, your smell, your touch, your love crept back in, in the most divine way. Somehow familiar, somehow strange, and forever longing. I was reduced to trembling and gasping for breath. Helpless.

It is one month today since you're gone and somehow I'm not defined by this grief; instead, I search every day looking for your light, some days it's so bright like a warm blanket of hope, and other days just a glimmer of light, perhaps your grin shining through when I need it most.

You have left an indelible mark on my life, my heart. But somehow, I know that no time, healing, or hope will stop that bitch from coming again...
But when she comes knocking again, and oh, she will.

I will know to let her in and let her dance and scamp around in front of me because within her reach are the most beautiful memories of you.