You Weren't Supposed to Know (TW for self-injury)

Oh no.
You weren’t
Supposed to know,
But if I
Tell you now,
You’ll try and stop me
From intentionally hurting myself.
You don’t understand
That I really
Need this pain,
This physical pain,
To balance out
My internal pain.
Oh no.
You weren’t
Supposed to know,
And what will you do
When I tell you?
I’m terrified of
You stopping me.
I’m not hurting myself
For attention;
I just need this pain,
This hurtful,
Long-lasting pain,
But I know you
Won’t understand.
Oh no.
You weren’t
Supposed to know,
But it’s too late now.