Mentality

Turmoil seeping into my mind
Sludge like and heavy
Brain churning lies
Loneliness

Afraid but loved
God speaks to me
But I feel unclean
Unworthy

Not by Christ
But by my aching heart
Fighting demons within
Doubt

Ones I cannot see
Picking at my scabs
Undoing me from within
Unravelling
Shame over taking
My guts are too heavy
For just me
Savior

Please cut me open
My truth on the floor
Venom pouring
Drowning
Silently praying
Needing you now
I want to kneel before you
Fear

Please hear my heart
Crying out
Draw me out Lord
Uncomfortable

Feeling so stupid
To walk in between
God fearing people
Unjustly
The time has come
To bow to thee
Lifting God’s name
Worshipping

My heart is tugging
I pull myself near
You are my protection
Father

Tears start to loosen
Like a waterfall
I cannot control
Hope

I stop to hide
My sole wide open
To the king of kings
I am unbroken

Love.