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The Me You'll Never Know

If only you knew the battles I fight
For this one moment by your side
Barely standing, fighting the urge to run away
Desperately searching for the right words to say

Head down, don’t look him in the eye
Don’t let him see you laugh or cry
If he sees the monster lurking inside
You’ll be rejected, cast aside
So you hide like you always hide

What if you saw behind this phantom’s mask?
Do I dare to hope your acceptance will last?
And would you abandon me all alone
If you saw the beast behind these walls of stone?
This taboo side I cannot show
That's the me you'll never know

If only you knew the bullies I’ve outlasted
A lifetime lived as society’s outcast
Half alive, tattered and torn
Cast adrift in an emotional storm

Shoulders back and stand up straight
Hold your tongue, don’t say the wrong thing
Never let him see who you really are
It guarantees another verbal barb
Another broken piece, another broken heart

What if you saw this disappointed drudge?
Do I dare to dream you wouldn’t judge?
And if my mind should come undone
Would you leave this vampire to burn in the sun?
The highest highs and the lowest lows
That's the me you'll never know

What if my progress stalls?
If I should falter and fall through
Would you help me through it all
Or would your kindness stall too?

What if you saw that we’re not the same?
Would you leave me to go down in flames?
And what if I can’t be what you wanted?
Would you still stand by my side undaunted?
Could you go toe to toe
With the me you’ll never know?

About this poem

This poem is about the difficulties of befriending people when you don't fit into society's norms. Part of you wants to show the other person your truest self because you hope that this time will be different, that this person will get you. Another part is terrified of how they'll react to you because you've been shunned so many times, you've learned it's not safe to show who you really are.

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Written on February 26, 2022

Submitted by DLAMDiva on March 08, 2022

1:33 min read

Morgan Bland

Morgan Rhianna Bland is an AVM (arteriovenous malformation) survivor and aspiring writer from Knoxville, TN. The only child of older, overprotective parents, she was raised in a secular democrat household in the middle of the Bible Belt. Due to her illness and her upbringing, she grew up bullied and misunderstood by her community, but she found comfort in the written word. She hopes to use her writing to improve the world so others won't have to go through what she once did. more…

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    "The Me You'll Never Know" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2022. Web. 29 Nov. 2022. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/122075/the-me-you%27ll-never-know>.

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