Monsters

My anxiety is a monster, a shape shifter even it spins me around and swallows my every waking breath in waves silencing any hopes and dreams I may have had in my short life. My anxiety triggers it's bffs named paranoia and depression which follow their ring leader in spades ,even superseding it at times. Paranoia tells me something bad will be happening soon and anxiety makes me anticipate it's beginning while depression races over the terrible outcomes leaving me shaking and wishing I had never been born, but see that's the thing you know this depression she's a liar she weaves her way into my every thought like the snake that lured eve but in this story it's not the devil it's myself!! It is me who lured myself away from the holy grail of happiness just to make the past me eternal prison even death was too good of an option. When I close my eyes I pray every night I will not wake. The anxiety makes me stay awake until late because of the breath that I might not take. Then the demons in my mind roll,they  around inside making me watch as they kill my loved ones and I take the blame! Things always make me full of hate and the trauma and devil's everyday make me crave a bullet to my brain like the fast track I never meant to play the game so please when I take my breath and tell you I'm alone don't take it for granted because one night I might not make it home.