Loosing Game

I'm addicted to a loosing game
After my final loss, I never was the same
I'm at a loss which one of us is to blame
Don't know if my initials are us or my name
My love for you is a beast that I'm trying to tame
Don't know how many times I got 'Game Over'
Wouldn't give up, kept playing over and over
My luck was so bad, couldn't be helped by a lucky clover
But I know I would've never won even if I played harder
In the toilet; my face so wet, couldn't tell if it was tears or the shower
I keep wishing I'd kept you closer,
But it wouldn't have stopped you from drifting further
Me and you was my addiction
Even though at the same time, it was my affliction,
Knowing that I had to ditch my delusion,
Letting go was an impossible decision
I knew when to stop playing,
My brain never failed to send a warning,
But my heart was stubborn, never listening,
Even when it did, it was never heeding
On fantasies and false hope, it was feeding,
Trying to gain strength against the odds in which it was struggling
All the love it had, it kept on spending,
On a game in which it loved to believe it was winning,
Desperation and fear would not allow it accept the fact that it was clearly loosing
Kept on spending, with nothing replenishing,
At each 'Game Over', two options were given;
'Quit' and 'Keep Playing'
Of course, it was the latter it kept choosing,
Knowing fully well the length of the straws it was desperately clutching,
Was slowly, but surely, reducing
The idea of spending so much love initially felt intimidating,
Alas, here it was, giving so much while barely receiving,
With each 'Game Over', the pillars of desperation and false hope on which it stood, already crumbling,
Shook with the threat of collapsing,
On and on the cycle of spending continued,
Until it could finally spend so more,
The pillars on which it stood finally collapsed,
Leaving it to fall and shatter to a thousand pieces patterning the floor