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Hey guys remember the interesting snack this Chinese in 2019 got
And since then everybody on this planet is facing an invisible flood
Containing never-ending waves
forced mankind to separate
and go back to its caves
Now a medical miracle happened step out there is land in sight
This time it really might be the final tide

Can’t handle so much freedom it makes me go insane
Spend 4 months in single room waiting for a verdict in pain
Now every look I get hurts like a stab
Only when I feel alone I am in my comfort zone
Cope it with more screentime, cover that as metime
Guess you can win in court and still lose trust in people and sadly yourself
Guess now I can choose between being bored or overwhelmed
Not really how you imagine the end of isolation
My lungs are fine still I feel like one of the plagues patients
Others are okay as long as they stay strangers
Was fine with the cafe at the corner, as long they were just neighbors
Suddenly they call me best guest, invite me four a private breakfast
My heart rate I better dont measure
Since when do compliments mean pure pressure
You got sniped at by bureaucrats not in war trenches
They watch you rise a coffeecup no need to fall for trembles
A night later junkies try to rob my phone
I fight them off calmly coz I am just on my own
Spend my sleep imagining the horror
That was yesterday and might be tomorrow
Waking up thinking I must be too late
See messages from my boss and straight get afraid
Oh no lol it's just a well-done mate

Yogis say just stay in the moment and be aware
How if the body reacts faster than you can think just dont care
Tough when you used to be a dreamer whose mind is longer a safe space
And something inside tries to jump from one to the next worst case
A single doubt or sound makes your body quake in lightspeed
All serotonin vanishes and confidence plays hidenseek
The daily life unmutes – I just wanna contribute
The woman infront gets nude
Sees my look and gets confused
Aks her if her shape makes me feeling blues
Na your hot I just need 2 minutes to switch the mood
It takes time for my body to accept it deserves your boobs
Dining with la familia should make you feel cozy
I get tensed like Tony Soprano would make a bad Mafiosi
The only lad who gets my mind straight to ease
Is my I guess 2 years old niece
And that therapy dog I maybe saw for five days
She grew into a person I faded into video calls and games
I like that she can't cheat
but well but she can’t even speak
Only when I'm tipsy I can judge my fear sober
Wonder if drinking is healthier than this hormone rollercoaster
My anxieties eat me alive
So desperate even fight them with boring exercise
Try to master meditation though it seems hopeless
Maybe coz try so hard it takes ages to make progress
Where is my fucking pay off this doesn't makes any sense
I know how to be funny make enough money
and have it easy to make friends
Panic parasite did you not see who you chose
I have the spirit of a sloth I am not your right host
Wanna have a risky rockstar life can’t waste any time
Though my back won’t agree I should be in my prime
I love mocking people but under this circumstance, it feels like a wrong number
You caged me into the body of Bambi but my brain works still like motherfucking thumper

Oh no wait the 5 minutes passed
The attack is over just forget what I said
Now the hormones bounce back everything goes reverse
and I feel like the craziest Mofo of the universe,

Oh no wrong hope, now there is omicron you can stay a homo digitalis everything is fine

About this poem

Self-written poem/story about panic attacks and social anxiety caused by the isolation and struggle with German bureaucracy.

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Submitted by fel.voe on January 29, 2022

3:27 min read

Quick analysis:

Closest metre Iambic heptameter
Characters 3,541
Words 687
Stanzas 5
Stanza Lengths 7, 23, 35, 4, 1

Fiore Vesca

German student and writer living in Italy. more…

All Fiore Vesca poems | Fiore Vesca Books

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"Cavemen" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2023. Web. 27 Jan. 2023. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/118790/cavemen>.

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