Don't Want to Be Okay (TW for mention of self-injury and su!c!de)

I don’t want to be okay today.
You’re trying to get me to get up,
But I just want to lay in bed all day.
You’re trying to get me to eat again,
But I just want to starve myself.
You’re trying to get me not to bleed,
But I just want the physical pain.
You’re trying to get me to keep on breathing,
But life is choking me and I’m losing air.
You’re trying to get me to be okay,
But I’m really not and you know it too.
You’re trying to get me to pour out my feelings,
But I just want to hide them inside.
You’re trying to get me to cry it out,
But I just want to keep my face dry for once.
You’re trying to get me to talk,
But I just want to stay silent.
You’re trying to get me to stay alive,
But all I want to do is die.