rejection-sensitive dysphoria

i am done.

with that show ive been watching, you know?

the one i wont shut the f*ck up about?

because i cant?

i mean i can but i dont want to know how ill get if i never talk about it

every time i do i shake

because you hate it; youre humoring me

and i love it; and i hate it; and i hate that i love it

because misery loses itself in company and stops being misery just like i stop being my fourteen year old self in company and feel like a fucking young adult for once because i have you (plural).

and i feel miserable but you cant accompany me because youll hate me if i show you where i spend my off-days

you know that show i hate?

the one i cant stop loving?

i finished it.

what do i do?