how to feel nature again

you see him everywhere you go. walk to the drugstore late at night and feel the sweat dripping down your wrists. feel the rain in your hair (just like blood) freeing you (choking you) do not let him win again. lie down on a cold and naked mattress at night, bathe in sin/love/sin/love. it is not your fault (it is all your fault) you were only 13
(You knew what you were doing when you        followed him into the back room, when his fingers slipped deep and low, hungry and grasping for your innocence, when he licked his hands of blood and smiled at you and then)
do not let him distract you from the grass         underneath your feet. this is what it was meant to be about, right? do you even know anymore? or do you only listen to what they tell you (just like he did?)
           let the pain wash over you again. this is nature. this is how you are meant to feel.