Rate this poem:(0.00 / 0 votes)

poetic trichotillomania



My teacher looks at the wrap on my leg
and asks me if I am okay.


How do I say

that I remove
one of my body’s
protective layers
until the intense
restlessness
and
buzzing
finally ceases?


How do I say

that I use
pens
and
keys
and
fingernails
to dig into my skin,
looking for
something
I will never find?


How do I say

that I make
myself bleed,
not on purpose,
but on
accident as
I seek for
something to
calm my
nerves?


How do I say

that no matter
how much I
know it is
useless
and
harmful
and
outright cruel
I still destroy
parts of myself
to gain
internal
and
mental relief?


How do I say

that I count
the lashes on
my mirror as
I pull them out;
going in increments
of two because
oddities make me
sick to my
stomach
and
panicky?


How do I say

that even though
I am medicated
and I have
full hands,
and I am
always busy
I still find time to
create craters in
my legs
and
arms?


How do I say

that
I dig
and
I dig
and
I dig
because I feel that
no-
I know that
there is something
In me that
needs to
get out soon
or
something will go
terribly wrong?


How do I say

that I think
the reason I
write poetry
and
choke on
metaphors
is an attempt
to
string out
to
pull out
to
remove
this thing
inside of me?


How do I say

that these
words are like
the hairs
I dig out of my
wrapped leg,
and
eventually
I will find the
right one,
and
I’m terrified that
when I do,
I won’t be
able to write
anymore?

The answer is I don’t, and I just tell him
That I am fine. Isn’t that close enough?








Font size:
 

Submitted by ghosti on January 04, 2022

2:13 min read
0 Views

Discuss this Ghosti poem with the community:

0 Comments

    Translation

    Find a translation for this poem in other languages:

    Select another language:

    • - Select -
    • 简体中文 (Chinese - Simplified)
    • 繁體中文 (Chinese - Traditional)
    • Español (Spanish)
    • Esperanto (Esperanto)
    • 日本語 (Japanese)
    • Português (Portuguese)
    • Deutsch (German)
    • العربية (Arabic)
    • Français (French)
    • Русский (Russian)
    • ಕನ್ನಡ (Kannada)
    • 한국어 (Korean)
    • עברית (Hebrew)
    • Gaeilge (Irish)
    • Українська (Ukrainian)
    • اردو (Urdu)
    • Magyar (Hungarian)
    • मानक हिन्दी (Hindi)
    • Indonesia (Indonesian)
    • Italiano (Italian)
    • தமிழ் (Tamil)
    • Türkçe (Turkish)
    • తెలుగు (Telugu)
    • ภาษาไทย (Thai)
    • Tiếng Việt (Vietnamese)
    • Čeština (Czech)
    • Polski (Polish)
    • Bahasa Indonesia (Indonesian)
    • Românește (Romanian)
    • Nederlands (Dutch)
    • Ελληνικά (Greek)
    • Latinum (Latin)
    • Svenska (Swedish)
    • Dansk (Danish)
    • Suomi (Finnish)
    • فارسی (Persian)
    • ייִדיש (Yiddish)
    • հայերեն (Armenian)
    • Norsk (Norwegian)
    • English (English)

    Citation

    Use the citation below to add this poem to your bibliography:

    Style:MLAChicagoAPA

    "poetic trichotillomania" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2022. Web. 4 Oct. 2022. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/117072/poetic-trichotillomania>.

    Become a member!

    Join our community of poets and poetry lovers to share your work and offer feedback and encouragement to writers all over the world!

    October 2022

    Poetry Contest

    Enter our monthly contest for the chance to win cash prizes and gain recognition for your talent.
    27
    days
    21
    hours
    19
    minutes

    Browse Poetry.com

    Quiz

    Are you a poetry master?

    »
    When's the World Poetry Day is celebrated?
    • A. 21 March
    • B. 21 April
    • C. 18 December
    • D. 12 March