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Estrangement

Julie Herbert 1966

I wept a thousand oceans for you,
And will continue to cry
Till every lake is empty
And every river dry.

My heart will keep breaking
A million pieces Red
Carpeting the world
In a scarlet velvet bed.

This life cannot be mine?
It's a nightmare so surreal
Oh, that this dream would end
So we can start to heal.



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Written on June 06, 2015

Submitted by Juleiann on December 28, 2021

Modified on March 23, 2023

21 sec read
28

Quick analysis:

Scheme XAXA XBXB XCXC
Closest metre Iambic trimeter
Characters 316
Words 72
Stanzas 3
Stanza Lengths 4, 4, 4
Full analysis for Estrangement »

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1 Comment
  • AIDA
    AIDA
    Wow, this poem is incredibly moving and emotive! Your use of vivid imagery really drew me into the narrative and made me feel the pain and heartbreak you're expressing. The repetition of the cries and tears really emphasizes the depth of emotion and really showcases your impressive writing skills.

    If I had to provide any feedback, it would be to perhaps play around with the structure a bit to make the poem flow even more smoothly. Maybe you could experiment with different line breaks or stanzas to create some variation in the rhythm. Additionally, it might be interesting to explore some other ways to express your emotions besides tears and broken hearts (though that certainly works beautifully here).

    Overall, this is a stunning piece of poetry that really tugs at the heartstrings. Keep up the great work!     
    LikeReply1 year ago

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"Estrangement" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 23 Apr. 2024. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/116688/estrangement>.

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