I have surrendered

I'm alive physically but I'm spiritually dead. Like a long lost soul, finding his way home. All my life, l've been living without no direction, without no motivation. All people judge, even in my simple action. It kills me, lm losing energy l feel suffocated lately  do you feel me. I'm just trapped in this world And l don't really wished to be in. I don't deserve this life. I believe this life was given to those people who's deserving and willing to fight. I'm a coward. I'm lost. I'm also tired. I don't want to keep the fight, I'm already dead inside