Agony of Not Knowing

Sometimes the agony of
not knowing
Supersedes the agony
of knowing
Is it cancer or not?
Heart attack or an arterial block?
Will it leave and then come back
or somewhere else attack?
Is it a boy or a girl?
Healthy child like a precious pearl?
Do you love me
or just pretend and see?
I'm competitive - can I win
or lose and lightly take it on the chin?
Did I pass the test
Or fail and fake the rest?

Do I really love her, enamored by her magic wand?
Brainy, quick, dubious decision, not so hard
This I know - I still can dream
Vital, lively get my share of cream
Avoid conflict, strive
Grateful, can discern, so very much alive
Quit while I’m ahead
Or competition may strike me dead
After you add it all up,
Is there more wisdom in the restful morning
Or the adventurous night?