Adulting

Is it just the world that’s changing or am I too?
Is it because of the force that keeps on testing all of us,
Or is it just part of the so called adulting?
It’s crazy how this differs from one to another,
Like one can have it earlier and the others later.
I’m wondering if I’m at that stage now, I’m not sure.
Can it also change the bright smile you once had to an empty one?
I was told ‘bout how I am now to how I was before,
I’ve been observing it as well for quite sometime now.
I was somewhat like them before;
Reckless, stubborn, happy, confused, and excited.
I was brave, strong, and careless about everything.
I can adjust to parties and sleep elsewhere after it.
I was once a girl filled with wonderful dreams and love,
I was living life enthusiastically even with problems at times.
But now? I don’t know when did it start to feel this way.
I am in so much gratitude to the one I praise,
But there’s these feelings I can’t quite grasp.
Like I’m on a battlefield with my emotions,
Or in a difficult quest in search for a very important thing.
I want that bright smile back, but not the same experience.
I’m curious how are they getting by these with so much bliss?
When it’s so hard to figure things out now.
My dreams changed drastically to questions I don’t know how to answer.
Sometimes it all seem contradicting, that I’m lost for words.
I’m not even sure how to deal with it all, that I find myself crying at night.
I can’t determine if I’m feeling empty or overwhelmed.
I’m just trying and trying day by day,
But one thing’s for sure I am grateful to the one I praise.