Not My Fault



You can not admit what
you did to me, Can you?

The words you told me and
how you touched me.

You can not admit it and
you continue to make it feel
like I did something wrong.

It has been 4 years since those
days since you touched me the
The way you did and the abuse you
put me through.

I know you don’t remember me
when you are laying in bed late at
night as I do.

I know when you are with
another girl, you don’t
remember me.

You never remembered me
after the day we broke up.

You forgot me like a lost soul,
never to care about never to think
about ever again.

But, I still remember you, even
when I am with the love of my
life I am still scared.

Scared of being touched and
cradled when I am at my lowest.

Scared to be in love, scared of it all.

As I continue to think about it now,
it seems like forever ago, and yet I can
still, remember every little detail.

I have come to the decision,
after telling myself many times,
what you did was not my fault,
I still find that I am blaming
myself for what you did.

You, don’t remember what you
did and I think that is okay.

Thank you for showing me
what real love should not be.

I say thank you even though
I hate you with everything I have.

But, forgiveness is coping, and
coping is getting better.

So yes, thank you, really thank you.

About this poem

Trigger Warning - Mentions of Sexual Assault and being touched without consent. This poem is me speaking up about something that happened when I was 10 years old. Hope this doesn't trigger anyone or anythong-

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Written on March 26, 2021

Submitted by just.a.poet on December 01, 2021

Modified on March 05, 2023

1:33 min read
3

Quick analysis:

Scheme AB CD CXX XXBB DXB XAD DX XXX XXX CX X XXX XXXXX BX DD XX CX B
Closest metre Iambic tetrameter
Characters 1,328
Words 311
Stanzas 18
Stanza Lengths 2, 2, 3, 4, 3, 3, 2, 3, 3, 2, 1, 3, 5, 2, 2, 2, 2, 1

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    "Not My Fault" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 28 Mar. 2024. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/114926/not-my-fault>.

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