A monsters morales

Turned off the lights
But I can't dim these thoughts
Are you up somewhere
Just as lost
Something in my chest
It breaks in two
It breaks for us,
it breaks for you.
All these words,
and yet nothing to say
Gone every year,
 but here every day.
I keep it that way
To stay sane
Tell myself you like the rain,
I like it too, it hides the pain.
It reminds me of summers gone
Summers spent, summer worn.
Yet here we are.
10 years later
so much older
So much frailer.
Turns out the movie,
was worse than the trailer
I'd pictured a different ending
With alot less failure.
Thought you'd be here, never gone.
Never apart, atleast not for so long.
But knowing my life
How could i expect such good luck
I knew in my heart
I'd get fucked
So when you left
I wasn't shocked
Who needs a key
When you've lost the lock
Does it even matter?
I wouldn't know
I've moved on so many times
But always too slow.
I ate my heart out
After it broke
When I put down the fork
I began to choke.
Choke on my tears
Choke on the ache
Choke on my ability to know what's at stake.
So I coughed up the courage
To get up and go on
I'd been down on my knees
Down for too long
Praying that life
could maybe be different
Guess I was always smart
yet ever so ignorant
I finally grew tired
tired of being wrong.
Always a syllable
Yet never a song.
I was always a piece
Yet never a whole
Just one half
Of a broken soul
Just the Wrong girl
in the wrong place
Always The Wrong person
 for the right chase.
Heard Every dog has
 gotta have his day?
So at what point does this bitch
Finally get her say
I'd like you to know
I didn't know how to love you
I didn't understand
The consequences of what
What I was about to
Do to us both
Do to me
The cost of some actions
Is you'll never be free
A debt so big you can never repay
A loss so deep
There's no words left to say
How could I have known
What I've never tasted
How could I understand
What I had wasted.
The harder the mistake
The tougher fall
before you can run
You need to learn how crawl.
And for the record
Before I go
I want it to show
The pain that I reaped
Was the pain that I sowed.
I paid for the actions
And then some more.
All That that we could have been
I fucking foreclosed
I lost years of memories
Lifetimes we could have made
I lost the time
Wasted, what could have saved
I lost myself
F*ck, I lost us both
I lost a future
And then I lost hope
When you live in the darkness
You forget the light
When someone turns it on
It's always too bright
You react to a sensation
The only way you know how
You know stand but never learned how to bow
I came from the darkness
Where I had never seen love
I didn't know what it looked like
I didn't know enough
All that I was
Was a child of the dark
How can the blackness
Not fear a spark.
I'm not here to laud myself
Or here to dissolve the debt
I'm only here as a testament
That karma writes cheques
I have grown up to be
The light in the dark.
I now help others
Who've long lost the mark,
Maybe we didn't make it
So that other people could.
Maybe it was always
meant to end this way
For someone else's good.
Or maybe your up somewhere
Wondering the same
If we made all wrong moves
Played all the wrong games.
Maybe all roads would
lead here again
We'll never know.
Turn off the lights
I can't watch this show.
Close the curtain
And now take that bow.
One day some kids
May ask me how
How the darkness
Turned into light
Il write out the story
And try not cry
I'll thank you in credits
It won't be enough.
But life without you
Has always been tough.
Maybe the best I can do
Is help others not be me
To seek out the darkness
And help them be free
Maybe out there is a couple like us.
And maybe I'll help them
Turn out different from us.
So someday they don't wind up
On wrong sides of the world.
Save one less child
From being a broken hearted girl.