My Wife

My wife , she asked me this morning
‘ Where are the cutleries’?
‘ I had put them along with the Lardy’s’
‘I had seen them even in the dark last night’
‘But now I can’t find them this morning despite the daylight’!

She asked ‘Have you stolen them for your mistress?’
She became very upset, visibly in distress.
What can I say in protest
to such a stupid question in earnest?  

My wife, she asked me another day
‘ Where has  the frozen fish gone
 I had put in the  freezer away?’
She then proclaimed that even fish I relay
to my mistress as I stray and stray!
I was flabbergasted  at this bizzare accusation !
Began to doubt my own sanity in abomination.
Am I sleep walking and stealing things
from my own home though here I am the king?
I am thinking I should consult a psychiatrist
or perhaps  should it be my wife or so I wished !

My wife, for years she has been calling me a kleptomaniac!
She claimed I would steal anything or everything and was a megalomaniac
She said it didn’t matter what it was
because apparently a kleptomaniac
for the fun of it , does just thus!

My wife, I  have lost count of the times
she alleged I stole her medicines
which in a shot drove to the roof my adrenalines.
My wife, she even  claimed that I had mixed up stuff
to cause harm and rough her up.

There was cash money which she alleged
from her room or even her safe had fled,
only  days later to make it’s way back
to her room  in mysterious  ways in a slack.
Is it possible that cash can by magic
walk away from the safe , is there any logic?
It’s said money does not grow on trees
but what about money growing legs at ease
or am I the lowest of the low of a breese ?

Our beloved daughter Bonnie
she was sweeter than honey
she bade farewell to us
in the month of July Twenty Twenty
an act that will haunt us for eternity

I did bid bye to her on her last day
oblivious of the impending doom
returned home when I should say
that I should have stayed
with her in her flat in my room

My wife, she has since accused me
of killing my own daughter incessantly.
She  alleges that not only had I overdosed my Bonnie
but then put my own daughter on the noose
it’s like rubbing salt in my wound and putting in her boots.
Our colossal loss is beyond an irreconcilable truth

Blatantly new allegation from my wife
That I am attempting to take life
Life of our younger daughter
Having apparently done away with her sister!

This mumbo jumbo is causing me more than a little bother
I am recurrently badgered by these raucous horrors
but hope there is no call again
from the coppers
as was the case in my roller-
coaster of a life , a few times earlier.
I am still hopelessly naive which
I know is not going to get soon any better.

My wife, o’my enigmatic wife
what is this , my incredulous life!