Questionable medical advice



There was once a man with an awful stutter
Hardly a sentence he could clearly mutter
A life like that was very tough
Then one day he had enough

A medical professional he went to see
And asked “p-p-p-p-p-lease help me”
Doctor was unsure, but would try
Gave him an inspection toe to eye

The doc was shocked by what he found
The cause was obvious and quite profound
Doc told him as far as he can remember
No man should have such a generous member

Doc explained with charts and finger
Where his blood tends to linger
It flows down far easier than up
So his vocal cords were out of luck

Doc had an idea for a procedure
To replace it with a less prominent feature
Then return the blood flow back to normal
And help him start to speak more formal

He had a good job and wife too
For their sake he’d see it thru
Tho he and his member had grown attached
He thought it best to have it dispatched

After a few weeks had past
He went to see the doc at last
With words smooth, crisp and clear
Things weren't as good as they appear

He told the doc his wife is sad
His secretary too is not glad
He discovered to his surprise
For some what matters, is size

“Doctor I’ve come to ask”
“If reattaching is too big a task”
The doctor looked him the the eye
And told him to “f-f-f-f-f off” goodbye
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Written on July 21, 2020

Submitted by muzz on November 25, 2021

Modified on March 05, 2023

1:18 min read
2

Quick analysis:

Scheme AABB CCDD EEAA AAXX AAFF GGHH IIJJ KKLL MMDD
Closest metre Iambic pentameter
Characters 1,301
Words 261
Stanzas 9
Stanza Lengths 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4

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    "Questionable medical advice" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 29 Mar. 2024. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/114591/questionable-medical-advice>.

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    The repetition of similar sounds at the ends of words or within words is known as _______.
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