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All Too Well (Manipulation Victim's Version)

I walked through the doors with you
The air was cold
You told me how I felt like home somehow
I left your notes there
At my parents' house
But I've still got them deep in memory

Oh, your yearning to listen
To my hidden fears
I still think about the car rides
After all these years
The way you watched my face
For some telling sign
You could never read what I was thinking
So you thought that I was lying

And I know that it's senseless
To miss something so imprisoning
But my pain must be forgotten
Because I picture you in everything

And there we are again, on our little town street
Disdainful to my friends but you convinced me you were sweet
Salt in the air, I was there
I remember it all too well

Picture of me on your dashboard
My cheeks stayed turning red
You placed me on a pedestal
But I was mistakenly misled
For the second I showed an opinion of my own
You trampled on my autonomy, I guess I should've known

And you always took the check from me, guess that's chivalry
Think it was a ploy
We were always going out
And I was thinking on the drive down,
anytime now he's going to say he's proud
Your vanity was too loud
As someone too brash to be harried
How'd it feel, was it scary?
To know I had a mind of my own
And then you wondered why I withdrew
Remember when you told me "Wake Forest ruined you" ?
I didn't stay, but you went away

And I know it's long gone,
There's nothing else I can do
I can't reverse the past
And I shouldn't talk to you

There we are again, star-gazing in the yard
I held tightly to your hand
Your selfish flame left me charred
Unprepared, didn't care
I loved you, all, all too well

And there we are again, dreams too wild and grandiose
You made life all about yourself when I needed you the most
17 and scared, I was there
I remember it all too well

Well, maybe we got lost in translation
Maybe I asked for too much
And maybe our love was a symphony
But our ears were covered up
It's not fair, I was there I remember it all too well

And you call me up again just to remind me of my flaws
Do you think that your arrogance's deserving of applause?
I'm a crumpled up piece of paper lying here
Cause I remember it all, all, all

They say all's well that ends well
But we ended in bombshells that night
Well, I guess that's fine
I said if we had been closer for school, maybe it would've be fine
But I realized that's a lie
The idea you had of me, who was she?
A never-leaving, ever-lovely jewel whose shine reflects on you?
Not sobbing in a party bathroom
My best friend asking me what happened
You, that's what happened you
You, who made me feel like I was smarter than I am
Mapped out our lives in a Venn diagram
But then you berated my choices, hurt my loved ones one-by-one
Wasn't it supposed to be fun, high school graduation?

Time won't fly, it's like I'm paralyzed by it
I'd like to be my old self again, but I'm still trying to find it
After plaid shirts, days and nights when you made me your own
Now it's been a few years, so I threw out your cologne
But you're fresh in my mind whenever there's talk of Star Trek
Or when I'm on a date and we don't fight for the check
I can't get rid of it
Replays of our split, all too well

And there we are again, three months into our love
Ice skating and picnics, hands fitted like a glove
December air, I was there
I remember it all too well

And I was never good at telling jokes
Yet you laughed every time
Was that some way to keep me under your weight?
The manipulation that you put me through
Had me feeling guilt for getting out unscathed
And did the phone breakup kill you, too?
Just between us, are you the same person I knew?
Because four years down the road, I wonder if there's still baggage to unload?
Even in this season of change and growth, I'm stuck in our forgotten oaths
Though it was farewell, I remember it all too well.

About this poem

My version of T-Swift's newly released 10 minute lyrical masterpiece, customized to my experiences with a high school ex.

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Written on November 17, 2021

Submitted by jojofolger on November 18, 2021

4:07 min read

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    "All Too Well (Manipulation Victim's Version)" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2022. Web. 27 May 2022. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/114212/all--too-well-%28manipulation-victim%27s-version%29>.

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